Newspaper headlines: Labour defeat aftermath dominates

Labour's defeat, and its aftermath, still dominates. Some papers stand around, like doctors in accident and emergency, and pull long faces.

According to Andrew Rawnsley of the Observer, the sound coming from Labour "is a howl". The Independent on Sunday thinks the "old splits have returned."

The Sunday Telegraph says the party is ripping itself apart. Its columnist Dan Hodges says: "It looks as if the whole car is about to be dragged to the junkyard."

Image copyright AFP
Image caption Labour leadership contenders clashed over spending

Tony Parsons, in the Sun on Sunday, wonders whether "the party is already receding into the mists of history, as irrelevant to our time as the Whigs or the Monster Raving Loony Party".

Among those papers that supported Labour, the prognosis is not much better, the Sunday People has a picture of the first hustings in the party's leadership contest.

There were five people on the platform - the four contenders and the shadow education secretary - whom the People describes as the "dithering telly toff Tristram Hunt".

Sniping comments

The paper imagines the other four asking "what the hell is Tristram doing here?"

Carole Malone, in the Sunday Mirror, thinks Labour lost the election, lost the argument, and lost the trust of the people.

As for the contenders, she says: "It's clear none of them have the vaguest clue about what needs doing."

The Independent thinks everything that is wrong with Labour is summed up in the sniping comments directed at Chuka Umunna - who has now withdrawn from the race - his handmade shoes, expensive suits and watch.

Without him, says Simon Walters in the Mail on Sunday, "the Labour leadership contest has all the appeal of Hamlet without the prince."

Mr Umunna tells the Mirror there are no skeletons in his closet, no scandal about drugs, and no secrets about his sexuality. The Telegraph thinks he could well be back in five years' time.

'Mercurial talents'

In the Sunday Express, Nigel Farage describes the ructions in UKIP last week as "kindergarten games". "I am back in total control," he says, and people who bicker will "get booted out".

Mr Farage tells the Sun on Sunday he needs a break - but he is "going to carry on". In the Mail, UKIP's William Cash says the last week resembled an episode of House of Cards - re-written by Tom Sharpe.

One view of the party's recent history is offered by a cartoon in the Independent - of Mr Farage as a clown. "I'm resigning," he says, and the audience cries, "Oh no you're not!" "Oh no I'm not," he replies - and they shout "oh yes you are".

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Image caption Beatles exam: Sit and silence rather than twist and shout

The Sunday Times reflects on how "mercurial talents" should be managed following the decisions to exclude Kevin Pietersen from England's Ashes squad.

"If we ban the bad boys," the paper asks, "how will we ever win?" And it comments: "Only in England can you be penalised for 'lack of trust'."

With questions about The Beatles' Sergeant Pepper's album soon to appear in GCSEs, the Telegraph has imagined what an entire exam paper devoted to pop music would be like.

Even those who think they know their stuff might be daunted by, for example, having to write an essay on "the 60-year history of the supergroup, from Cream to McBusted, showing how the phenomenon waxed and waned according to which political party was in power, and fluctuations in interest rates".

Making people click

Telegraph: The tragic past haunting Chuka Umunna

Observer: Australia captain Michael Clarke: England will be weaker without Kevin Pietersen

Mail: Man who claims he is British toddler who disappeared on Greek holiday in 1991 will be DNA tested by police