News tweets: From the Oscars to Joe Arpaio

Davy Jones, Angelina Jolie, Mitt Romney

For the week of 26 February, the news condensed into 10 topical tweets by some of Twitter's biggest wits.

1.Billy Crystal takes me back to a simpler, more innocent time, before things were funny.

@TheTweetofGod, which purports to be God's official Twitter account, as set up by former Daily Show executive producer David Javerbaum. Crystal's turn as Oscar host had much of Twitter bemoaning the corny jokes and black face segment, in which Crystal dressed as Sammy Davis Jr.

2.Look at me!

The first tweet from@AngiesRightLeg, a Twitter account designed to poke fun at Angelina Jolie's revealing Oscar gown. Later, the account tweeted: "Left leg and I talked - everything's cool. Next Oscars, she gets the slit."

3.In a better world, Transvaginal Ultrasound would be a 12-member white funk band from Savannah known for their hit "Smooth You".

Actress and writer@sarahthere. Several states, including Pennsylvania, Alabama and Virginia were considering legislation that could require women to know the gestational age of a foetus before having an abortion, which would often require an invasive procedure known as a transvaginal ultrasound.

4.Rupert Murdoch: "I know that the British people are angry with me. I know that because I've heard their voicemails."

Comedian Andy Borowitz (the@BorowitzReport) a day before James Murdoch resigned from News International as pressure from the phone-hacking scandal continues.

5.All those perfectly-heighted trees? [T]hey can vote in an open primary. #MittSecrets

ABC White House correspondent@JakeTapper, about Mitt Romney's victory in Michigan, after he said: "This feels good, being back in Michigan. You know, the trees are the right height." It was one of several references to tree height during his campaign.

6.If I were Obama, I'd text Santorum, "lol snobs 1 -- u 0" which is why I will never be President.

Online humourist@pourmecoffee,after Santorum narrowly lost the Michigan primary. Earlier that week, Santorum had alienated voters by saying that president Obama was a "snob" for wanting to send children to college.

7.Wait, wait -- can't we swab Marcia Brady's cheek and grow a NEW Davey Jones from the DNA? She promised to never wash it...

Comedian and actor@PattonOswaltafter the death of former Monkees frontman Davy Jones (that's the correct spelling). After his death, clips of Jones's appearance on the Brady Bunch, in which he kisses Marcia on the cheek, circled the internet.

8.I had four years to prepare, and I didn't come up with anything clever to tweet about it being Leap Day. I am not happy about this.

Blogger@TylerOakley, on the first 29 February since 2008.

9.Happy birthday BBC World Service! 80 years of international broadcasting.

That's the BBC's own@mattdanzicocelebrating our 80th anniversary on 29 February. (Though in Leap Years it's only the 20th anniversary).

10.I recall writing a birther story in summer 2008 and thinking "well, this'll end after Obama wins."

Slate political journalist@daveweigelafter Arizona sheriff Joe Arpaio held a press conference to announce his doubts about the validity of Barack Obama's Hawaiian birth certificate