Indhuja Pillai: 'Tomboy, I wear glasses, look dorky'
This is the story of how Indhuja Pillai, a 24-year-old tomboy who looks "dorky" in glasses and wants a man who hates children, posted an alternative matrimonial ad after she saw the one her parents put up. The alternative profile went viral in India and she has now been inundated with proposals and her parents don't mind at all, as she explains here.
My parents wanted to get me married...
It all began when my parents informed me they had put my profile on a matrimonial website. My father sent me the link and I had a look. It was all from my parents' perspective. It was my parents talking about me.
"We are looking for a groom for our daughter who is working as a software engineer."
I don't mind my parents searching for a groom. This is very common in India. But I want the right details to be given. It's fine as long as people know who you really are.
So this really annoyed me. I am not a software engineer, I work with start-ups and smaller companies. I love helping a small company grow. So I told them they've got the basic stuff wrong and that I would take the profile down and post who I really am.
So I created my own profile...
The website was meant to shut my parents down, and to make their work simpler by passing just this link, rather than passing on my biography and the godforsaken horoscope.
WHAT MY PARENTS SAID: They said I was an engineering graduate working as a software engineer. They didn't mention my religious views, hobbies or interests.
WHAT I SAID: "I'm not a drinker and I hate smoking. An eggitarian, not a foodie. I play badminton, sing and dance. I wear glasses and look dorky in them. Not a spendthrift or a shopaholic. Detest masala & drama, not a TV fan. I don't read. Friendly but I don't prefer friendship. NOT a womanly woman. Definitely not marriage material. Won't grow long hair, ever. I come with a life-long guarantee and I commit for life."
WHAT I WAS LOOKING FOR: "A man, preferably bearded, who is passionate about seeing the world. Someone who earns for himself and does NOT hate his job. Must be flexible with his parents, also means, it's better if he is NOT a family guy. Extra points to the one who hates kids. Points for a great voice and an impressive personality. Should be able to hold a conversation for at least 30 minutes."
I see myself as an individual. I know who I am, a bit of a loner who likes to wander the city. That is exactly why I told my parents I'm not mainstream and I know what I want.
Now who wants to marry Indhuja?
I was not prepared for the enormous response. It began trending in mid-February and it has reached a fever pitch now.
How a post went viral
page views so far
likes on Facebook
1,000 comments and responses
40 "suitors" and proposals
Most surprisingly I have found quite a few interesting candidates. Here are a couple of the suitors.
Suitor 1: One man who presented himself as a suitor was most interested in testing me on my knowledge of the film Interstellar. He never mentioned whether he had a beard or if he is a family guy.
Suitor 2: Another suitor sent me the conversation he had with his dad on Whatsapp about me. His Dad basically said that the marital prospect (me) looks OK, but is it really practical?
There were also proposals from around the world.
But I was most inspired by the response from the women. I think women found my stand for my own individuality courageous and actually quite rare in India. These profiles and websites are so many, but where is the room for us to be an individual? I wanted to show that we can just talk about who we really are.
What my parents say now
My parents are now fine with this and are happy that people are finding my stand inspiring. My mother reads all the comments I get faithfully.
My parents also ask me if there is somebody I actually like. I told them: "Please stop this for some time."