Recalling months of depression that led to a suicide attempt in 2007, Chris Coombs, 25, says he didn't feel able to ask for help.
He tells his best friend Ed Birch, also 25, that he blames "machoism" and "an expectation of what we should be" as men.
Three out of four people who take their own lives in the UK are male, official figures have shown.
Experts say suicides could be prevented if people were encouraged to talk more openly about their feelings.
Suicide Survivors with Professor Green is on BBC Radio 1 on Monday, 20 January at 21:00 GMT.
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