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	For Pete's Cake
	Babyshambler complains that life post-rehab is making him fat.

	Who Katie Did Next
	Russell Brand wants to tease Pete D about his Kate snog-up.

	Radio Shambles
	Pete Doherty signs up to edit Radio 4's Today programme.

	Yuck Forever
	Pete Doherty is going to sign his wedding docs with home-made ink

	Sham Pain Reception
	Pete and Kate's ceremony is going to be right classy and stuff.

"We managed to all get inside the cow's outfit, and now it's pantomime time."