TOTP: Have you ever had an uncontrollable urge to wee whilst on stage?
Tom: Yes. I have, yeah. It's always a good idea to go to the toilet before you go on stage. Especially if you're playing a long set.
TOTP: Anyone ever followed through?
[General mirth.]
Tom: On stage? No, not on stage. Very close, though.
Harry: We had a gap on our last tour, where Tom played a song on his own and I used to run off to go to the loo then. I ALWAYS needed the loo then. So I was fine.

TOTP: Have you ever had an urge to swear really loudly while recording a pre-watershed TV programme?
Harry: I've never had an urge, but I've probably nearly done it by accident.
Tom: Dougie did once, because he didn't know what he was saying was a swear word, going out on early morning TV.
Harry: What was it?
Dougie: It was...can I say it?
TOTP: Yeah, don't worry, we can censor it.
Dougie: It was the word 't***'.
Harry: Really?
Dougie: Yeah, Danny had to hit something and I was like "Danny, t*** it!" REALLY loud. "T*** it, Danny!"

TOTP: Who in the band is least capable of controlling their urges?
Harry: What kind of urges?
TOTP: Any kind of whim, really. Who always has to act on their impulses?
Danny: I give out dead arms. 'Cos I can't argue. That's my way of arguing, a quick dead arm.
[Pause.]
Dougie: And they kill.
[Danny gives Dougie a dead arm, except not really.]
Danny: You [pointing at Tom] - you used to wee A LOT. A lot less now.
Tom: Wee? [General murmurs of assent from the others.] Oh yeah, I used to go to the loo a lot. I used to have a real problem with going to the loo.
Dougie: Your thing now is Starbucks.
Tom: Yeah, I've replaced going to the toilet with drinking coffee.
TOTP: But doesn't drinking a lot of coffee make you wee a lot anyway?
Tom: Apparently not.
Dougie: I think it's poo, isn't it?
Tom: Yeah, it makes you poo.

TOTP: Scratching in public places - acceptable? Yes or no?
Harry: To a certain degree, I suppose, you can scratch.
Dougie: [scratching himself] Nothing wrong with scratching...
Harry: I'd say THAT's [i.e. what Dougie's doing right now] fairly unacceptable, but I think you kind of do it without realising. It's the kind of thing that you do when you're sitting at home on a sofa and you just go "oh, it's warm down there. Like a little nest."
Dougie: With two eggs and a worm.
[Riotous laughter from everybody.]
Tom: Do worms lay eggs?
Harry: A worm that's laid two very big eggs.
Tom: Do worms lay eggs? How do they - do they give birth, or do they lay eggs?

TOTP: Don't ask us, we haven't got a clue. Have you had any nasty experiences with uncontrollable fans?
Tom: Not nasty experiences. It can get a bit awkward sometimes when you don't know what to say, because it's a bit weird when someone's - because obviously we're like that with people that we idolise, and stuff - but it's a bit weird when you don't expect people to be like that with you sometimes.
Harry: It's good when they're uncontrollable because it means you have a few people out there who really like you.

TOTP: When was the last time you gave into an urge and got into trouble as a result?
Harry: Oh, that's not a very speci - spefici - I have SUCH a problem with saying that word. I'm going to get speech-coaching, because I just...
Tom: Specific.
Harry: Specific. So, you had an urge, you didn't go through with it, and you got into trouble anyway?
Tom: No, you did go through with it.
Harry: Oh, you DID go through with it. Oh, I see.
Tom: Dougie punched Harry when we were in America. In the face.
Harry: [sternly] And he got in a lot of trouble with the authorities.
TOTP: That's interesting, because the next question was going to be: if you had an uncontrollable urge to punch somebody, who'd be on the receiving end?
Tom: We don't normally punch each other and mean it. But Harry was winding Dougie up, and Harry deserved it.
Dougie: I've got a fist full of lead, mate. [Everyone laughs.] But it probably didn't really hurt that much, because my hands are about the size of a marble.
Danny: [making a slightly alarming noise] Sorry, that was my laugh. [Does it again to demonstrate.]

TOTP: Do you get that urge to lean just a little bit too far forward when you're on a cliff or a tall building?
Tom: [instantly] No way! I'm really bad at that. I'm not really scared of heights, like plane heights, but in those hotels with balconies, or I hate hotels where they look in on the lobby and there's marble floor. I can't stand leaning over stuff like that, it really freaks me out.
Dougie: On a chair, when you're leaning back. It's like, "ooh, could I go a little bit further?"
Tom: Yeah, that's a good one. I always have the urge to lean on chairs.

TOTP: And finally, when was the last time you threw a popstar tantrum, and why?
Harry: Last night. Because our monitors weren't loud enough. But it all worked out fine.
Tom: We had every right to throw a tantrum. But it wasn't really a tantrum - we threw a tantrum within ourselves, we didn't have a go at anyone. We were like, "OHFORGOD'SSAKEMAN..."
Harry: It turned out all right in the end.