TOTP: First of all, what would you like your superhero name to be? We've been going with Supermatt, but if there's something else you'd prefer...
Matt: Supermatt? I'd rather say Superpants.
TOTP: Superpants? OK. Any particular reason for that one?
Matt: [guffaws] Any particular reason for Superpants. I think there should be a superhero called Superpants. All his magic he gets from within his pants.
TOTP: So your outfit would be centred around your pants?
Matt: Yes, very much centred around my pants.
TOTP: And you'd be wearing them on the outside, presumably?
Matt: Yes. Oh yeah, of course. I think the outfit would just be a pair of pants.
TOTP: Would you not get a bit cold?
Matt: Hmm. [Thinks.] That would be part of my power.
TOTP: So you wouldn't have any kind of lycra thing going on, there'd be no cape...just a pair of pants.
Matt: Just a pair of super Y-pants.

TOTP: What about some kind of super-transportation-type-thing? What would you use to get about?
Matt: I think I'd be able to fly.
TOTP: Again, presumably, brought on by the magic pants.
Matt: Yeah, yeah, totally, man. The pants bring you the power. So, um, I'd definitely want to fly - how cool would it be to fly? I did this thing in America once. It's called, like, The Superman Thing, and you get hoisted up, like a bungee jump, and you get hoisted up 200ft in the air, but there's slack on the rope. So then you freefall for like 150ft. It is the SCARIEST thing I've ever done. Then suddenly the rope catches you, it's weird - as if you're flying. It was amazing. Yeah, I loved it.

TOTP: Would you have any other powers or abilities? Super speed, super strength, x-ray vision, heat vision, anything like that? Given that the world's your oyster and you can have any ability you'd like.
Matt: I can have any ability I'd like? Oh my God. Everyone says about x-ray vision and stuff, but I think that's a bit pervy. I think that's a bit pervy-old-mannish, so no, I just want to see what's happening in front of me. What else? Super strength would be awesome.

TOTP: Now, obviously there's the matter of your secret identity, because you can't let everyone know that you're running around doing all of these superhero things. How would you cover that up, given that you have to juggle your hectic popstar life and save the world?
Matt: If anybody was going to, AS IF you would think it was gonna be me! Hahaha! Do you know what I mean? I think my cover-up would just be being Matt Willis. I don't think that anyone would ever, ever think that I could be a superhero, so I think we'd be OK.

TOTP: We'll assume there's some kind of superhero badass scale, where Batman is ten and zero is, like, Spongebob Squarepants. Where would you be on the scale?
Matt: Well, I'd be higher than Batman because Batman doesn't really have any powers. I think Superman is my favourite superhero, because he's not just like a man that likes bats or got bitten by a spider. He is a Super Man. So I mean that's pretty incredible.
TOTP: I see what you mean - it's part of everything he is, isn't it?
Matt: Exactly, it IS him. He didn't become something, or, like, some weird accident made him become a freak - he is a Super Man. So yeah, I think I'd be closer to him. I'd probably be, like - if Batman was ten, then I'd be 14 and Superman would be 100.
TOTP: So presumably you'd win in a fight with Batman?
Matt: Oh, I'd kick Batman's arse!

TOTP: Would you have a sidekick? You could have Pantsboy, or perhaps Pantsgirl - y'know, Girl in Pants...
Matt: I'd have Dave from Son of Dork as my sidekick.
TOTP: Superb. So what would his superhero name be?
Matt: Let's think of the worst one possible for him. Let's call him Maggot Boy.
TOTP: Special powers, derived from maggots.
Matt: Yeah, yeah, yeah. Basically, his power is that he can put maggots on you. He is Maggot Boy.
TOTP: He can sense rotting food from a 20 mile radius.
Matt: He gets his maggots from his pants [Cackles].

TOTP: What about your arch-villain? You've got to have an arch-villain. Who would it be and what would they be like?
Matt: [thinks for ages] Oh God, I dunno.
TOTP: Well, what would they be trying to achieve? What would be the thing that you would take a fundamental stance against?
Matt: Um...it would probably be my personal trainer. If I could stand against anybody, it'd be my personal trainer, but he's really hard, so he'd kick my arse.
TOTP: So where would he fall on the scale between you and Superman and Batman?
Matt: He's pretty f***ing hard, so he'd be stronger than me. He'd be about 25. But he doesn't have any superpowers, apart from the fact that he has to make you eat sensibly and not drink beer and work out and go to the gym and stuff.
TOTP: He has a superhuman dedication to duty?
Matt: Yes. Damn do-gooders!

TOTP: Now, there's that new film out at the moment, My Super Ex-Girlfriend...
Matt: I went to see that the other day.
TOTP: Is it any good?
Matt: Yeah, it's really good.
TOTP: Has that put you off dating superhero ladies? Would you prefer to go after the Lois Lane type or would you prefer to go out with your superhero colleagues?
Matt: To be honest with you, I'd always want to have the power. You know, if your girlfriend could kick your arse, it would be weird. It'd just be like, [sighs] "...mate", because you'd be scared of her. And it's not like you're not scared of your girlfriend anyway. So the thought of her actually being able to turn you into a frog or something is a bit too much.

TOTP: Once you've achieved your worldwide fame and wised up on your marketing deals, they're going to make Superpants the movie. Who's going to be playing you in the movie?
Matt: That's a hard one. I got asked this one before, "if somebody's going to play you in a movie, who would it be?" And I couldn't decide, so somebody said, "I reckon Danny Dyer." "...What?" "Oh, it's just the way you talk." I was like, "What? I'm from Kingston! I'm just common, I'm not cockney." So yeah, I don't know who would play me. I'd say it would be...who would play me? Who would play Superpants? Someone with a really hot body, and a really big package to make me look good.