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22 November 2008
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In the spirit of cobbling a band together out of bits of other bands, we got Upper Street to make the ultimate pop machine. BOY they can argue...

TOTP: If you could take bits of other artists to make the ultimate rap artist, who would you put in there?
Dane: Jay-Z's gotta be in there.
Danny: I would just bring back Biggie Smalls, man. All by himself.
Bradley: Biggie Smalls's kind of...humour, Ludacris and Biggie, Tupac, Jay-Z and Eminem. A combination of all of those would be mine.
Dane: That's some big s***.
Bradley: Yeah. That would be a big artist.
Dane: A bit of a schiz, though.
Bradley: Yeah, he would be.

TOTP: We'd iron that all out in the process. What about the ultimate R&B singer - male or female? Or possibly both...
Dane: Stevie Wonder.
Bradley: Luther [Vandross], without a doubt.
Dane: Stevie, Luther, and Barry White.
Danny: Bam!
TOTP: What about the physical - whose body parts would you want for this?
Dane: Tina Turner's legs.
Danny: I would just go for Shakira's whole package.
Bradley: Different face, though.
Danny: What?
Dane: Tina's legs, Dolly Parton's breasts...Annie Lennox's haircut.
Bradley: I wouldn't agree with that one. I don't know who I'd choose, but not that!
TOTP: Never mind, we're going to have some fun photoshopping that one, anyway...
Bradley: Jessica Alba, maybe. But she's not a singer.
Danny: With Beyonce's voice.
Shakira? With Dolly's breasts and Annie's hair?

TOTP: Ultimate male singer of any genre that you like? Again, the whole package: voice, hair, chest, arms, wardrobe...
Bradley: Stevie's voice, for me. Rick James's haircut. R Kelly's...what? R Kelly's bottom half.
TOTP: And what about the ultimate female singer?
Bradley: A bit of Christina, maybe. A bit of Aretha Franklin's voice. A bit of Beyonce.
Dane: Tina Turner's hair.
TOTP: Tina Turner's doing quite well out of this.
Bradley: Cher's body, and Pink's attitude. Britney's money! No, sorry.

TOTP: Obviously you've assembled yourselves as a kind of super-boyband. If you could assemble your own super-girlband from the ashes of other girlbands, who would be in it?
Bradley: All the people we've said, really. Christina, Britney...
Danny: No, but girls from former bands?
TOTP: Yep, girls from former girlbands.
Jimmy: Left-Eye?
Bradley: Diana Ross?
Danny: Meh! She had a great voice - kind of a classy voice - but, like...
Bradley: Left-Eye, though.
Danny: Yeah, that'd be good. She could do the rap.
Dane: One of the Pussycat Dolls.
Jimmy: Just for the look.
PR Person: What about Girls Aloud?
Bradley: Sarah from Girls Aloud.
TOTP: Any Spice Girls?
Danny: No.
Bradley: They should actually do Totally Girlband. Missy Elliott, she was in a girlband.
Missy. She was in a girlband, you know.

TOTP: Okay, now let's say you're aiming to create the perfect love song. Which five songs would you pick to combine into it?
Bradley: Um, 'Hero' [by Mariah Carey]. That was a great song.
Danny: Nah, I prefer the Boyz II Men and Mariah one.
Dane: 'One Sweet Day'.
Jimmy: 'Four Seasons Of Loneliness'?
Bradley: No, that was Boyz II Men.
Jimmy: Oh, sorry. It was, yeah, Boyz II Men, wasn't it? Bradley: 'Lately' by Stevie Wonder.
Danny: 'Yesterday', the Beatles, man.
Bradley: 'From The Heart', Another Level. [At this point, Jimmy has to leave the room to go and do something else, but we valiantly continue without him...]

TOTP: What about dancing? If you've all got to contribute a signature move to your next dance routine, what would you all be bringing?
Bradley: Oh, it's got to be 'The Right Stuff'. [Gives us a demo.] That one. "Oh-oh oh oh oh!" We actually do that anyway, so does that count? You said to contribute to us, but we do that anyway. You know the dance, right?
TOTP: I remember it well, yes.
Bradley: What would I do? That's probably one of the most famous dances that you could pick off the top of your head - [snaps fingers] the Moonwalk. Or MC Hammer. 'Can't Touch This'.
Dane: Who first did The Running Man?
Danny: Kid 'n' Play, man!
Bradley: Kid 'n' Play, then MC Hammer. Vanilla Ice tried to do a thing with it. So there you go, the running man, the moonwalk, and 'The Right Stuff'.
Shamone!

TOTP: If we were to put you guys on the spot and ask you to do an acapella version of any song right now with no rehearsal - we just count you in and off you go - what would it be?
Dane: We only know the single. Well, it's the only thing we've sorted out.
Bradley: Any song?
TOTP: Any song at all.
Dane: [to Bradley] If you had to do it right now without rehearsals.
Bradley: I always wanted to try Kajagoogoo or something like that.
Dane: [nonplussed] Ask the question again, so he can make the right decision.
TOTP: If we put you on the spot and said you had to sing an acapella song with no rehearsal - we just count you in and you all have to go for it - what would it be?
Bradley: 'Lately', Stevie Wonder.
Dane: [exasperated] Are you f***ing with me?
Danny: I don't know the words.
Dane: How would we know what harmonies to do?
Bradley: He said without rehearsal!
Danny: All of us! Together!
Dane: All four of us, right now, singing together.
Stevie - do you know the trouble you've caused?

Danny: That's the first song that comes into your head?
Dane: As in, don't rehearse it now, just sing, bam!
Bradley: Yeah, I'd choose 'Lately'.
Dane: When he says "no rehearsal", he doesn't mean you haven't rehearsed it before, he means right now, you're not allowed to rehearse, BAM! That's what he means.
PR Person: On their own or as a group?
TOTP: As a group.
Dane: As a group, and you would get us to sing something we haven't sung...
Danny: ...don't know the words...
Dane: ...and don't know the harmonies to.
Bradley: That's not what he's saying.
Dane: Yes it is.
TOTP: That is what I'm saying.
Bradley: He said any song.
Dane: Yeah! Any song... [gives up in frustration] Are you being serious? Do you really, like, get what you're saying? I'm not trying to take the p*** horribly, like that...
Bradley: I thought he said, if you could choose any song in the world, without rehearsing it...
Dane: Yeah.
Bradley: ...sing it, that's what I'd sing.
Danny: But what would you do right now?
Dane: You'd do 'Lately', without rehearsing it, all of us? Okay.
Danny and Dane: 3-2-1, go!
Bradley: [sings] "Lately, I have had the strangest feeling..."
Danny and Dane: And what are we doing?
Bradley: [sings some harmonies]
Dane: But that's rehearsing. [Sighs heavily.]

TOTP: Sorry guys, we weren't intending to cause a split! Okay, last question. If we said we had Justin Timberlake outside the door, and he was totally keen to be a part of this project, but you had to kick one person out to make room for him, who would go?
Dane: [before we've even finished asking the question] We wouldn't.
Bradley: He'd go.
Danny: He'd go.
Bradley: He can kiss my...HairyBack. [Laughs.]
Ugh! A hairy back!


Here, visit Upper Street's official site
And their MySpace page
Watch the vid here

(The BBC is not responsible for the content of external websites)

Interview by: Steve P
06/10/2006

 
The Complete List
  365  Go!  
  Brad: "Well, we've just got up so most of us are in our boxers."  
  Lucie Silvas  Go!  
  "If I flap my arms hard enough, I can get some inches, and actually go up in the air."  
  Akon  Go!  
  "Ah...a lot of times, it's most likely... the ass."  
  Alesha  Go!  
  "Think of the amount of clothes you could get in Top Shop for 2,000 pounds!"  
  Tom McFly  Go!  
  "I hope you know the Uranus line took years of planning."  
  McFly's Hair Drama  Go!  
  Tom: "Straightening his hair for all those years has actually made his hair fall out. And as a result, he now has curly pube hair."  
  Girls Aloud  Go!  
  Nicola: "We've got a good facial thing that we do, but we're not gonna tell you what it is, just in case..."  
  Nylon  Go!  
  Camilla: "Maybe one day I'll draw some stockings on me. In gravy."  
  Karen Louise  Go!  
  "I once tried headbanging to a Nickelback track and put my neck out, so I try to avoid that one."  
  Oskar  Go!  
  Ignorance is still bliss when it comes to music. Ever tried un-learning something?  
  Upper Street  Go!  
  Bradley: "Stevie's voice,... Rick James's haircut. R Kelly's...what? R Kelly's bottom half."  
  Misha Williams  Go!  
  "I think the more important question is, why does Donald Duck wear a tunic? He's a duck!"  
  US5  Go!  
  Richie: "I'd prepare my bits... Just make sure everything was in place, looking right..."  
  Mike Rosenberg Band  Go!  
  Mike: "My family wouldn't be surprised to hear me er, drop a few."  
  Chris Lake  Go!  
  "It was all about the singles really. I would buy any old crap."  
  Lil' Chris  Go!  
  "I was going to say 'Throw the puppy out of the window', but I think that's a bit mean!"  
  The Young Knives  Go!  
  Oli: "I'd make a story up - It was an accident and he'd got rear-ended."  
  Gym Class Heroes  Go!  
  Travis: "He's a friend of mine, but he's definitely not the kid you wanna dissect a pig with."  
  Jet  Go!  
  Cam: "Through no fault of your own, you end up having to turn your pants inside out sometimes to wear them again."  
  The Fratellis  Go!  
  Jon: "Bill Oddie is sleeping in a caravan next to a cliff, and somebody pushes the caravan off the cliff."  
  Stacie Orrico  Go!  
  "I don't miss the whole bussing thing. You've got people's half-eaten food all over your hands."  
  Duncan James  Go!  
  "If it's a question of spending thousands on vapour or sending a text message for 10p, I'd go with the text message."  
  Betty Curse  Go!  
  "Well you know, Death's going to need someone who doesn't take themselves too seriously... he needs a bit of relief."  
  Matt Willis  Go!  
  "I was like, 'What? I'm from Kingston! I'm just common, I'm not cockney.'"  
  Alesha  Go!  
  "I still refer to everything as 'we'. It's really strange but I think that will change over time."  
  Orson  Go!  
  Johnny: "So it seemed like I was always the one who got in with the kids who lit things on fire, or threw lizards at girls."  
  Ronan Keating  Go!  
  "I don't think I stole anything from anybody, it's a very bizarre award."  
  Maria Lawson  Go!  
  "Occasionally, I'll wake up in the morning and I'll see a sandwich or something, and I'm like, 'God, how did that get there?'"  
  James Morrison  Go!  
  "It would be OK if you knew what was in the bush of doom, y'know? If it was a lady pirate, you might whack it in there."  
  McFly  Go!  
  Danny: "That's my way of arguing, a quick dead arm."  
  Frank  Go!  
  Bryony: "I always have to try and gross my boyfriend out by trumpeting really loudly."  
  James Morrison  Go!  
  "You know, water's cool, but milk - you've always got to check that."  
  Lemar  Go!  
  "Obviously there's a bit of romance there because she likes me and I'm this super...great guy."  
  Rogue Traders (Part 2)  Go!  
  James: "I think that's the quote of the day! 'We'll have to make sure we're not pokeable'."  
  Belle  Go!  
  "That's a brilliant question! I'd have to steal it, I'd have to fight off her mum and deal with it."  
  Rogue Traders (Part 1)  Go!  
  Natalie: "I've got denty boobs! It's actually all of my lucky charms in my bra!"  
  Wolfmother  Go!  
  Andrew: "They look like roadkill. Any form of dead animal. Any animal. But dead."  
  Paolo Nutini  Go!  
  "I had the pop socks, skirt, school uniform... my legs are a bit hairy, mind."  
  Get Cape Wear Cape Fly  Go!  
  Sam: "I don't really know what real skills you need to be a spy, but typing 40 words a minute is a good start."  
  Rooster  Go!  
  Luke: "I'm worried about my tackle, yeah. Imagine getting it bashed on the hurdle."  
  Wolfmother  Go!  
  Chris:"We'd miss the ability to pee freely and clean each other at will..."  
  Shayne Ward  Go!  
  "I think it was a sailor's outfit...and a blue wig. It just wasn't a good look."  
  Razorlight  Go!  
  Carl: "I was going to puke but I was too stupid to move, so I just stayed 'til I puked and then I moved."  
  The Fratellis  Go!  
  Barry: "We've got a song called 'Chelsea Daggers' so they throw wee daggers at us. It's quite nice."  
  Webb Sisters  Go!  
  Hattie: "You know when you have a girly night and you whip out a book and read about Roger and his pulsating thigh?"  
  Pussycat Dolls  Go!  
  Kimberly: "They could bounce off, unless I changed the, what do you call it, ions or whatever."  
  Rooster  Go!  
  Dave: "When it's hot it gets rather sweaty down there, he's just thinking of his personal hygiene."  
  Plan B  Go!  
  "I didn't feel comfortable being that sweet boy Justin Timberlake..."  
  Ne-Yo  Go!  
  "I have an open policy on underpants generally. It depends on the day."  
  Guillemots  Go!  
  Fyfe: "We're going to start getting naked onstage fairly soon, but with protection."  
The Complete List


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