If you love the song so much, why do you treat it so badly, popsters?
WESTLIFE - 'Uptown Girl' So much choice, so little time! Westlife have delighted and horrified in equal measure with their array of questionable covers. So after strapping ourselves in and subjecting ourselves to the likes of 'Against All Odds' (with Mariah) and the utterly bizarre 'Seasons In The Sun' (which somehow got to No.1 in 1999) we found that 'Uptown Girl' was by far the most hairloss-inducing experience. Even in 1983 this song's annoying upbeat chorus just wouldn't let go, so a big thanks to Westlife for dragging back a song that could only be neutralised by listening to Aqua's 'Barbie World'.
ALL SAINTS - 'Under The Bridge' Pop's new kids continued to pillage throughout the '90s, but edgy girl band All Saints were guilty of perhaps the boldest song-jacking shenanigans. The girls' cover of the Red Hot Chili Peppers' 'Under The Bridge' was about as edgy as a Royal Variety performance, and while we flinched with embarrassment, the credibility trap snapped shut on All Saints' ankles. Shame.
GERI HALLIWELL - 'It's Raining Men' Girl Power's gnomic guru had solo success firmly in her bony claws by the time she dug up the Weather Girls' slab of '90s disco tosh. Quite why the ginger nutter chose this song to follow her 2000 No.1 'Bag It Up' (we can't work out if she means her dog, or her dinner) is a mystery. But whatever her reasons, Geri's version was high camp but low quality, like a veritable tonker toy when compared to the Weather Girls' ample monster truck. Bad Geri!
BRITNEY SPEARS - 'I Love Rock 'N' Roll' Tucked away inconspicuously on Britney's third album is this rock anthem-turned-lift-music take on Joan Jett's 1981 classic. Southern Belle Britney saw the track as fair game in 2001, and done correctly, her cover could have blown fans and critics away with the effort. Sadly, Ms Spears forsook the angry wail that the song was crying out for, plumping for her 'Slave 4 U' husky treacle-voice, and the result is frankly rubbish. Anyone in any doubt about whether Britney knew what she was doing will have been swayed by the fact that in interviews, the blonde popstrel credited Pat Benetar for writing the song. Like, duh! It sounds like Britney doesn't love rock and roll nearly enough.
MADONNA - 'AMERICAN PIE' The problem with covering Don McLean's fabulous eulogy to Buddy Holly is that: a) it's a fantastic song and b) it's a fantastic song about something important. Holly's tragic death in 1959 sparked in McLean a moving epic of a song, and an artist like Madonna should've known better. The queen of pop may have took this song to No.1 in 2000, but even William Orbit's synth-pop flavours couldn't remove the bitter taste in some people's mouths. Guards, take her away!
WESTLIFE - 'Uptown Girl'
So much choice, so little time! Westlife have delighted and horrified in equal measure with their array of questionable covers. So after strapping ourselves in and subjecting ourselves to the likes of 'Against All Odds' (with Mariah) and the utterly bizarre 'Seasons In The Sun' (which somehow got to No.1 in 1999) we found that 'Uptown Girl' was by far the most hairloss-inducing experience. Even in 1983 this song's annoying upbeat chorus just wouldn't let go, so a big thanks to Westlife for dragging back a song that could only be neutralised by listening to Aqua's 'Barbie World'.
ALL SAINTS - 'Under The Bridge'
Pop's new kids continued to pillage throughout the '90s, but edgy girl band All Saints were guilty of perhaps the boldest song-jacking shenanigans. The girls' cover of the Red Hot Chili Peppers' 'Under The Bridge' was about as edgy as a Royal Variety performance, and while we flinched with embarrassment, the credibility trap snapped shut on All Saints' ankles. Shame.
GERI HALLIWELL - 'It's Raining Men'
Girl Power's gnomic guru had solo success firmly in her bony claws by the time she dug up the Weather Girls' slab of '90s disco tosh. Quite why the ginger nutter chose this song to follow her 2000 No.1 'Bag It Up' (we can't work out if she means her dog, or her dinner) is a mystery. But whatever her reasons, Geri's version was high camp but low quality, like a veritable tonker toy when compared to the Weather Girls' ample monster truck. Bad Geri!
BRITNEY SPEARS - 'I Love Rock 'N' Roll'
Tucked away inconspicuously on Britney's third album is this rock anthem-turned-lift-music take on Joan Jett's 1981 classic. Southern Belle Britney saw the track as fair game in 2001, and done correctly, her cover could have blown fans and critics away with the effort. Sadly, Ms Spears forsook the angry wail that the song was crying out for, plumping for her 'Slave 4 U' husky treacle-voice, and the result is frankly rubbish. Anyone in any doubt about whether Britney knew what she was doing will have been swayed by the fact that in interviews, the blonde popstrel credited Pat Benetar for writing the song. Like, duh! It sounds like Britney doesn't love rock and roll nearly enough.
MADONNA - 'AMERICAN PIE'
The problem with covering Don McLean's fabulous eulogy to Buddy Holly is that: a) it's a fantastic song and b) it's a fantastic song about something important. Holly's tragic death in 1959 sparked in McLean a moving epic of a song, and an artist like Madonna should've known better. The queen of pop may have took this song to No.1 in 2000, but even William Orbit's synth-pop flavours couldn't remove the bitter taste in some people's mouths. Guards, take her away!
