Forget collecting the albums, these days fans want something a bit more personal from their fave stars...
Grammar Queen Anyone who wanted proof that all that Britney ever wanted when she grew up was to be a pop star didn't need to look any further than her schoolwork. Conveniently enough, an English project done by Britney Spears, aged eight, went on sale last year. Course, this being pop nutbag-land, the fact that it was 'messy' and littered with 'lots of grammatical and spelling errors' didn't affect the price much. And after reading choice passages like: "Her brother Raymond isn't quite right. She's not imbararased though. All her friends are jelous of her because she's a faster runner than them," we didn't know whether to "aww!" or "duh!". Mind you, she could've just got an eight-year-old spokesperson to knock that up I suppose, while she was in the bushes, kissing that Timberlake boy...
Holy Matri-Phoney? Given her form last year, Britney might have saved a few quid by dishing out wedding flyers instead of invites, but luckily for one nutjob, she went for the latter. This extravagance resulted in the hapless auction monkey having a crack at passing off a discarded invite for the big day to dedicated fans. And just to make sure they won over any sceptics out there, this clever seller pointed out that the they 'did not find this invitation laying next to a discarded piece of gum.' Phew! That's alright then! Cos y'know, that'd be weird, right?
Going Undie-Ground OK, this is where it gets a little creepy, so anyone with any feelings whatsoever might want to leave the room at this point. OK - are we done? Right! Not content with passing off a dodgy wedding invite under the questionable umbrella of 'Britney memorabilia', some dark spark thought they'd sell something... a little more delicate to the Spears fanbase. Namely Britney's wedding underwear. Yes - the underwear she wore on her wedding day. The dodgy character in question claimed on eBay that he
had a staff pass to apartments being used by the wedding party, and after waiting for Britney to come in and get changed, they nicked her particulars. Now is that having an eye for an earner, or just pants?
Hard To Swallow Be warned, the next item up on the gross-ta is completely devoid of taste. Well, it'd better be. Now, if owning Britney's discarded chewing gum isn't high on your pressie list, then sit back, relax and look forward to a life without restraints. But that didn't stop some oral opportunist from claiming that he had a genuine piece of gum popped by princess pop herself. This piece of bubblegum history got banned, after its original ad's mention of 'genuine DNA' contravened eBay's Human Body Parts and Remains policy. Not to be deterred, the seller reworded his ad to say: "It was put into an airtight container and
has not been touched since it was inside Britney's mouth. It is completely preserved as you can see, with Britney's teeth marks highly visible!" Anyone's mouth watering yet?
Whateverrrrr! Next! "It's hard to put a price on Britney Spears' urine." Hey, where'd you all go? Come back! Don't be scared. Allow us to explain... These are the priceless words uttered by Drew Black, a spokesman for online gambling outfit Golden Casino, who splashed out (sorry) a piddly (sorry) $5,001 for what they alleged was the pregnancy testing kit that Britney used to determine her approaching motherhood. Golden Palace claims it bought the kit from Ottawa radio station 89.9, who in turn claimed that the test was taken from bins outside Spears's LA hotel room. The good news is that any proceeds from the sale of
the kit are going to various charities (presumably whichever charity has been set up to save people from obsessive collecting disorders), the bad news is that we can't hear that Madonna collaboration now without wanting to sing 'Wee Against The Eww Stick'.
Tae M
24/05/2005
Which item from Britney's life would you pay to own?
Grammar Queen
Anyone who wanted proof that all that Britney ever wanted when she grew up was to be a pop star didn't need to look any further than her schoolwork. Conveniently enough, an English project done by Britney Spears, aged eight, went on sale last year. Course, this being pop nutbag-land, the fact that it was 'messy' and littered with 'lots of grammatical and spelling errors' didn't affect the price much. And after reading choice passages like: "Her brother Raymond isn't quite right. She's not imbararased though. All her friends are jelous of her because she's a faster runner than them," we didn't know whether to "aww!" or "duh!". Mind you, she could've just got an eight-year-old spokesperson to knock that up I suppose, while she was in the bushes, kissing that Timberlake boy...
Holy Matri-Phoney?
Given her form last year, Britney might have saved a few quid by dishing out wedding flyers instead of invites, but luckily for one nutjob, she went for the latter. This extravagance resulted in the hapless auction monkey having a crack at passing off a discarded invite for the big day to dedicated fans. And just to make sure they won over any sceptics out there, this clever seller pointed out that the they 'did not find this invitation laying next to a discarded piece of gum.' Phew! That's alright then! Cos y'know, that'd be weird, right?
Going Undie-Ground
OK, this is where it gets a little creepy, so anyone with any feelings whatsoever might want to leave the room at this point. OK - are we done? Right! Not content with passing off a dodgy wedding invite under the questionable umbrella of 'Britney memorabilia', some dark spark thought they'd sell something... a little more delicate to the Spears fanbase. Namely Britney's wedding underwear. Yes - the underwear she wore on her wedding day. The dodgy character in question claimed on eBay that he
had a staff pass to apartments being used by the wedding party, and after waiting for Britney to come in and get changed, they nicked her particulars. Now is that having an eye for an earner, or just pants?
Hard To Swallow
Be warned, the next item up on the gross-ta is completely devoid of taste. Well, it'd better be. Now, if owning Britney's discarded chewing gum isn't high on your pressie list, then sit back, relax and look forward to a life without restraints. But that didn't stop some oral opportunist from claiming that he had a genuine piece of gum popped by princess pop herself. This piece of bubblegum history got banned, after its original ad's mention of 'genuine DNA' contravened eBay's Human Body Parts and Remains policy. Not to be deterred, the seller reworded his ad to say: "It was put into an airtight container and
has not been touched since it was inside Britney's mouth. It is completely preserved as you can see, with Britney's teeth marks highly visible!" Anyone's mouth watering yet?
Whateverrrrr! Next!
"It's hard to put a price on Britney Spears' urine." Hey, where'd you all go? Come back! Don't be scared. Allow us to explain... These are the priceless words uttered by Drew Black, a spokesman for online gambling outfit Golden Casino, who splashed out (sorry) a piddly (sorry) $5,001 for what they alleged was the pregnancy testing kit that Britney used to determine her approaching motherhood. Golden Palace claims it bought the kit from Ottawa radio station 89.9, who in turn claimed that the test was taken from bins outside Spears's LA hotel room. The good news is that any proceeds from the sale of
the kit are going to various charities (presumably whichever charity has been set up to save people from obsessive collecting disorders), the bad news is that we can't hear that Madonna collaboration now without wanting to sing 'Wee Against The Eww Stick'.
