No doubt about it, there's little to top that Live 8 lineup. Except...
All Of The Spice Girls Our top secret sources (above the tea and coffee making stuff, next to the beans) tell us that the Spice Girls are gonna perform at Live 8 after all*. But Mel B has only agreed to it on certain conditions. Although we were unable to get the full list of conditions into our Pops lorry, we did see the likes of rule #2798: The stage must be dividing into Spice zones, and no one may enter the 'Scary' zone without asking for permission, in front of the whole audience, in their pants. #2717 on the other hand is much more easy-going: Spice Girls are permitted to harmonise to Melanie Brown's main vocal, but must do so out of key, through their noses, while standing on one leg and doing Egyptian-style vogueing. Take it from us, you DON'T wanna see the food rider...[* yeah, right!]
Goldie Lookin' Chain The 'Chain are now famous for their habit of calling every crowd they play to 'Live Aid' for comic effect. Now they get the chance to do it for real! Knowing the Chain's sense of occasion though, they're more likely to refer to the audience as 'Newport Sports And Social Club' cos they're not really ones to do a joke to death. Plus, as a debt-busting gesture of good will, GLC have announced that they intend to sell all their goldie lookin' chains... which will be melted down and reformed into a giant statue of Chris Moyles - they wouldn't explain why.
Snoop Dogg And Bono Now here's a pairing that we'd never have dreamt of in a million years (or by next Saturday, whichever came first). But rumours abound that Snoop has been sniffing around Bono for ages, trying to organise a collaboration between himself and the God of Rock. Although his reponse to claims to duetting with Bono were a little confusing, Snoop said: "I'm ecstatic to be able to perform onstage with Bonio. You have no idea how long and hard I've worked to be able to be live onstage and be within touching distance of a large bowl of my favourite crunchy, wholesome doggy snacks." Hmm...
The Wills You'd be good will hunting for some years to come to find a better line up of Williams than this lot, who've pledged to appear on the same stage next week. Lead by Will Young and featuring Will Smith, Billy Corgan, Willy Mason, Billy Bragg and William Orbit - the Wills will make musical history with their upbeat, jazzy, funky, urban, rocky, angst-ridden yet surprisingly optimistic hand-clappy electronic folk - with hip hop beats, which has been given the working title of 'The Only Gay In The Willage'. The single will follow shortly after. God Willing.
Count Bedingstein And The De-Composers Well, some folks were wondering where Daniel Bedingfield had been hiding, and now we know. In preparation for the biggest concert ever, Bedders has dug deep to bring us a death-defying showcase of musical excellence. Getting any band to reform is a feat in itself, but getting Mozart, Bach, Beethoven and Vivaldi to reform took guts, brains and all the untouched science books that GLC had to offer. But Dr. Bedingstein's hard work has paid off, and for one night only, this newly re-formed (chemicals allowing) supergroup will wow us with a classical garage-flavoured pop jam. Plus, All the scrag-end bits Daniel couldn't fit together will come out and perform songs from her 'Unwritten' album as an encore. Talk about bonus material!
All Of The Spice Girls
Our top secret sources (above the tea and coffee making stuff, next to the beans) tell us that the Spice Girls are gonna perform at Live 8 after all*. But Mel B has only agreed to it on certain conditions. Although we were unable to get the full list of conditions into our Pops lorry, we did see the likes of rule #2798: The stage must be dividing into Spice zones, and no one may enter the 'Scary' zone without asking for permission, in front of the whole audience, in their pants. #2717 on the other hand is much more easy-going: Spice Girls are permitted to harmonise to Melanie Brown's main vocal, but must do so out of key, through their noses, while standing on one leg and doing Egyptian-style vogueing. Take it from us, you DON'T wanna see the food rider...[* yeah, right!]
Goldie Lookin' Chain
The 'Chain are now famous for their habit of calling every crowd they play to 'Live Aid' for comic effect. Now they get the chance to do it for real! Knowing the Chain's sense of occasion though, they're more likely to refer to the audience as 'Newport Sports And Social Club' cos they're not really ones to do a joke to death. Plus, as a debt-busting gesture of good will, GLC have announced that they intend to sell all their goldie lookin' chains... which will be melted down and reformed into a giant statue of Chris Moyles - they wouldn't explain why.
Snoop Dogg And Bono
Now here's a pairing that we'd never have dreamt of in a million years (or by next Saturday, whichever came first). But rumours abound that Snoop has been sniffing around Bono for ages, trying to organise a collaboration between himself and the God of Rock. Although his reponse to claims to duetting with Bono were a little confusing, Snoop said: "I'm ecstatic to be able to perform onstage with Bonio. You have no idea how long and hard I've worked to be able to be live onstage and be within touching distance of a large bowl of my favourite crunchy, wholesome doggy snacks." Hmm...
The Wills
You'd be good will hunting for some years to come to find a better line up of Williams than this lot, who've pledged to appear on the same stage next week. Lead by Will Young and featuring Will Smith, Billy Corgan, Willy Mason, Billy Bragg and William Orbit - the Wills will make musical history with their upbeat, jazzy, funky, urban, rocky, angst-ridden yet surprisingly optimistic hand-clappy electronic folk - with hip hop beats, which has been given the working title of 'The Only Gay In The Willage'. The single will follow shortly after. God Willing.
Count Bedingstein And The De-Composers
Well, some folks were wondering where Daniel Bedingfield had been hiding, and now we know. In preparation for the biggest concert ever, Bedders has dug deep to bring us a death-defying showcase of musical excellence. Getting any band to reform is a feat in itself, but getting Mozart, Bach, Beethoven and Vivaldi to reform took guts, brains and all the untouched science books that GLC had to offer. But Dr. Bedingstein's hard work has paid off, and for one night only, this newly re-formed (chemicals allowing) supergroup will wow us with a classical garage-flavoured pop jam. Plus, All the scrag-end bits Daniel couldn't fit together will come out and perform songs from her 'Unwritten' album as an encore. Talk about bonus material!
