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Regatta Hotel, Brisbane, Australia
The male toilets in this Australian joint are billed as the "loo with a view". The back wall of the urinal is a huge one-way mirror and many a chap has been caught out entering here for the first time, drunk and unaware, getting down to business  then looking up in horror to find a passer-by seemingly fixated on you know what. Relax: you can see them, but they can't see you. How soon before a bar reverses the opticals?

Red Room, San Francisco, US
It is all red, every bit of it: floors, walls, ceiling, bottles and glasses, chairs, couches, curtains... your face after a few drinks. After a few more drinks, you might think you are trapped in a David Lynch nightmare dream sequence, where everyone talks backwards, your arms are on back to front, and funny little men do strange contortionist dances that defy time, space and gravity.

Marton, Taipei, Taiwan
Marton in Taiwan is not for the squeamish, given that it is themed after commodes; potties; the john; the loo; the dunny; throne; porcelain bus; can; bog... Plates are toilet-bowl shaped (Asian squat or Western sit). Can you drink lemon squash from a toilet bowl? A cheers of "bottoms up" would be appropriate. Naturally, chairs are shaped like toilets, and there is urinal art (although no Duchamp). The only thing missing is "toilet lollies".

CORRECTION: At the time of publication, San Francisco's Red Room had been closed. We regret the error.

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