Hotels looking to capitalize on Royal Wedding fever have unleashed a maelstrom of Will & Kate-themed travel packages. We've found the weirdest and wildest.

Hotels looking to capitalize on Royal Wedding fever have unleashed a maelstrom of Will and Kate-themed travel packages.

Most offer your standard roster of generic perks - tea for two, wedding viewing parties, nuptial souvenirs - but others push the envelope with coffer-draining rates, risqué themes and creepy amenities. These are our picks for the most outrageous Royal Wedding packages.

  • Shag like royalty: San Francisco's Kensington Park Hotel takes the focus from the ceremony to the bridal bed with their cliché-heavy Shag Like Royalty package. Guests receive union jack condoms, two mini-bottles of gin (when we all know Will's favorite tipple is cider) and a can of spotted dick pudding. God save the Queen.
  • Alert the treasury: The Mandarin Oriental Hyde Park and the Hyatt Regency London The Churchill are currently duking it out for the priciest royal wedding packages. In one corner we have the Mandarin's $30,000 package for two guests with royal-family led tours of historical sites, private dinners at stately homes, and a champagne lunch overlooking the royal wedding parade. In the other corner is the Hyatt's $48,000 package for up to six guests with luxury chauffeur and butler service, a private chef, a lecture from Will & Kate's royal biographer, and the same amenities you'll find in Buckingham Palace (Moyse Stevens flowers, Floris toiletries, Prestat truffles). But the true king's ransom is the Mayfair Hotel's Suite and Sapphire package, including a three-night stay in the Fendi-adorned Azure Suite and an 18-carat sapphire and diamond ring for the princely sum of $336,268.
  • Sleep like a spoiled brat: Sure, little girls love playing princess, but something about the Swissotel The Howard's Pretty Little Princess package rubs us the wrong way. Maybe it's the $4,700 per-night price tag. Or perhaps it's the fact that your wee one is greeted with a bottle of "baby champagne". Talk about a surefire way to raise a royal brat.

If it all makes you feel a little queasy, fear not, you can get sick in style with these Royal Wedding Barf Bags. But the rest of us will continue to embrace royal wedding fever. After all, even us commoners can plan a trip for the big day. Here's how.