'Nyuma yo gukebwa umuhungu wanjye yariyishe'

Lesley Roberts na Alex Hardy muri Canada Uwufise ububasha kw’isanamu Lesley Roberts
Image caption Alex Hardy yoherereje nyina Lesley Roberts ubutumwa bwa email amusobanurira icyemezo cye

"Byagaragaye vuba cyane ko ibyari bimnaze kuba byari ishyano...napfuye muri 2015, si aka kanya."

Lesley Roberts yarumiwe cyane ubwo yasomaga ubutumwa buteye agahinda bwa nyuma umuhungu we Alex Hardy nyanditse kuri e-mail.

Ubwo butumwa bwari buteganijwe kumugeraho taliki ya 25, ukwezi kwa kumi na kumwe, 2017, nyuma y'amasaha 12 umuhungu we amaze kwiyahura. Mu gihe kiri munsi y'isaha ngo ubwo butumwa bwa e-mail bumugereho, Lesley yafunguye urugi ry'inzu ye asanga umupolisi ahagaze inyuma yarwo, amubwira ko umuhungu we yapfuye.

Alex w'imyaka 23 yari umunyabwenge kandi azwi, ndetse nta burwayi bwo mu mutwe yari asanzwe azwiho. Lesley ntiyiyumvishaga impamvu yahisemo kwiyambura ubuzima.

Ubutumwa bwe bwasobanuraga ko agatwe ko kugitsina ke kakuweho bamubaga mu myaka ibiri ishize. Ibi bisanzwe bizwi nko gusiramurwa, ariko Alex we yaje kubifata nko gukatwa igihimba cy'igitsina.

Akiriho ntiyigeze abibwira umuntu numwe yaba mu muryango cyangwa inshuti ze. Lesley we nta nubwo yigeze amenya ko umuhungu we yisiramuje.

Mu mezi yakurikiyeho, yagerageje gukora ubushakashatsi ku bijyanye no gusiramura. Kubera iki byagizeho ingaruka mbi ku muhungu we, ndetse ni kuki yumvise ko kwiyahura aricyo cyari igisubizo cyonyine?

Uwufise ububasha kw’isanamu Lesley Roberts
Image caption Lesley avuga ko "indoto ze yazigezeho" igihe yabaga umubyeyi mu kwezi kwa Karindwi 1994

Alex niwe mukuru mu bahungu batatu ba Lesley, ndetse yavutse ategerejwe cyane nyuma yaho nyina yamutwise akoresheje uburyo bwo kwiteza intanga.

Lesley avuga ko inzozi ze zabaye impamo ubwo yabaga umubyeyi mu 1994.

" Yari byose nifuzaga, niko Lesley avuga. " umwana mwiza, udakomeza ubuzima kandi yakundaga cyane murumuna we Thomas wavutse hafi nyuma y'imyaka itatu nabwo hifashishijwe ubwo buryo bwo guterwa intanga.

Yakundaga kandi murumuna we muto James, wavutse Alex afite imyaka cumi n'itatu. Ku bikuta no hejuru y'amadirishya mu nzu ya Lesley iri Chechire huzuye amafoto yabo bana bose.

Alex yize amashuri, ariko akaba yari umuhanga cyane mu cyongereza, ku buryo ishuri yigagaho ryashizeho igihembo cyamwitiriwe" Alex Creative Writing Award mu rwego rwo kumwibuka.

Jason Lowe ubu akaba ari umukuru w'abarimu mu mashuri yisumbiye rya Tarporley ati: "Alex yakundaga amateka, ariko nk'umwarimu we w'icyongereza, namubonyemo impano yo kwandika nyayo"

Uwufise ububasha kw’isanamu Lesley Roberts
Image caption Alex yari umuhanga mu ishuri kandi yize neza

Ubwo yakoraga urugendo shuri mu mukino wo kunyerera ku rubura muri Canada, afite imyaka 14, Alex yakunze icyo gihugu cyane. Ari umwana yakundaga uwo mukino, ariko urwo rugendo rwatumye yongera kubikunda. Amaze kugira imyaka 18, Alex yafashe icyemezo cyo guhagarika amasomo ye ya Kaminuza, ajya kuba muri Canada mu gihe cy'umwaka.

Lesley ati:"Yakunze Canada cyane, ahabona inshuti nyinshi ndetse azamurwa mu ntera no mu kazi ke. "

"Nyuma y'umwaka umwe yarampamagaye arambwira ati Mama, ngiye gusubukura amasomo yanjye muri Kaminuza. Ariko siko byagenze kuko nyuma y'umwaka ntiyigeze abikora.

Imyaka ibiri yaje kuvamo itatu, ine, ndetse ubwo yapfaga Alex, yari amaze imyaka 5 atuye muri Canada, kandi yari yarabonye n'ibyangombwa byo gutura.

" Yari azwi nk'Umwongereza w'umunyabwenge cyane, ufite inyitwarire y'indakemwa, niko Mama we avuga. " Umuhungu w'umunyabwenge cyane ukomoka mu Bwongereza wafashije abantu uko basaba ibyangombwa byo gutura muri Canada.

Uwufise ububasha kw’isanamu Lesley Roberts
Image caption Alex yakundaga kunyerera ku rubura ariko nyuma yo gukebwa yababazwaga no gukora ibikorwa ngororamubiri

Lesley yasuye umuhungu we inshuro nyinshi, ari wenyine anajyana n'abavandimwe be ndetse n'umugabo we. Bari umuryango ufitanye urukundo, ariko Alex ntiyigeze abwira umuntu uwo ari we wese ko yababaraga mu ibanga, afite ikibazo ku gitsina cye.

Mu 2015, akibabara mu ibanga, Alex yagiye kureba umuganga muri Canada.

Yahawe amavuta ya steroid yo kumufasha kongera uruhu rwo ku gitsina cye, ariko nyuma y'ibyumweru bicye yasubiye kwa muganga kubera ko atumvaga uwo muti uri gukora.

Izina ry'uburwayi Alex yari afite ni phimosis. Mu magambo yoroshye bivuze ko uruhu rw'igitsina cye rwari rufashe cyane ku buryo rutashoboraga gutuma umutwe w'igitsina usohoka nk'uko yabivuze muri email ye. Ibi ni ibintu bisanzwe ku bahungu bakiri mu myaka y'ubwana mu buzima.

Uko abahungu bagenda bakura, uruhu rw'igitsina rugenda rwitandukanya n'umutwe.

Image caption Lesley avuga ko Alex yari "intiti, agwa neza, atuje, agira ubuntu, incabwenge kandi wita ku bandi"

Phimosis ntabwo itera ibibazo buri gihe, ariko iyo bibaye, bishobora gutera gukomererwa kwihagarika no kubaba mu gihe cy'imibonano mpuzabitsina. Mu Bwongereza, Urwego rw'Igihugu rw'Ubuzima (NHS) rugira inama abantu yo gukoresha imiti n'uburyo bwo gukwedura uruhu rw'igitsina, no kwisiramuza cyangwa gukebwa nk'uburyo bwa nyuma.

Muri Canada, aho gukebwa bikorwa cyane, Alex yoherejwe ku muganga w'inzobere mu ndwara z'imiyoboro y'inkari.

Alex yanditse agira ati:

"Yahise ajya inama yo gukebwa ako kanya. "Nabajije ku bijyanye no gukwedura ambeshya mu maso yanjye avuga ko bitakkunda kuri jye.

"Naramwizeraga cyane kubera ko numvaga ari umuhanga wari ubizi neza muri uru rwego ubwo rero mbyemerana akangononwa."

Kuva icyo gihe, Lesley yasomye ibitecyerezo byandikwa kuri interineti kuri uyu muganga byatumye ashidikanya ku bushobozi bwe. Umwe mu barwayi uyavuze ko nyuma yo kubagwa kubera ibibazo by'impyiko atashoboraga kongera gukora kandi ko ngo uwo muganga "yangije ubuzima bwe".

Uwo murwayi w'umugore yanditse ati:

"Ndi umubyeyi w'abana batatu bahora bafite ubwoba buri munsi ko nzapfa kubera ko bambona mbabara bikomeye."

Undi yagize ati:

"Ndabona ukuntu yasuzumye abandi, yabaze abantu nabi, yangiza ubuzima. "Nta bushobozi afite ku buryo buteye ubwoba."

Undi wanditse ku bushobozi bw'umuganga wa Alex yongeyeho ati:

"Basize akuma gakoreshwa mu kubaga mu ruhago rw'inkari ariko nabimenyeshejwe nyuma y'amezi atatu. Hunga mbere yo kubabara!"

Uwufise ububasha kw’isanamu Lesley Roberts
Image caption Lesley avuga ko akumbura amaso ya Alex, "gutebya, n'ukuntu yamuhoberaga cyane"

Lesley, "wahungabanyijwe" n'ibi bitecyerezo, yasabye ko uyu muganga akorwaho iperereza. Yabwiwe ko riri gukorwa.

Ikigo cy'abaganga n'abaganga babaga cyo mu ntara ya British Colombia muri Canada (College of Physicians and Surgeons of British Columbia) cyabwiye BBC ko "kidashobora guhishura ikirego kiregwa umuganga, ibyo byakorwa gusa iyo ikirego gitumye habaho gufatirwa ibihano,"

Lesley yagize ati:

"Nzarinda nshiramo umwuka nkifuza n'umutima wanjye wose ko umwana wanjye yakabaye yarirutse,"

Yicuza ko, muri icyo gihe Alex atashoboye gukora ubushakashatsi kuri uwo muganga, cyangwa ku gusiramurwa, kubera ko mudasobwa ye igendanwa yari yapfuye.

Yari yagerageje gukora ubushakashatsi kuri mudasobwa zo mu ruhame ariko yumva bitamutera kwiyumva neza, kandi yumvaga ari "ikintu cy'umuziro" kubiganira n'inshuti.

Bityo, Alex yafashe gahunda yo gukorerwa icyo yatekerezaga ko ari ukubagwa byoroshye mu 2015 afite imyaka 21.

Uwufise ububasha kw’isanamu Lesley Roberts
Image caption Alex "yakundaga bihebuje" murumuna we

Mu butumwa bwa email yandikiye nyina, Alex yasobanuye mu magambo arambuye, ibibazo yagize nyuma yo kubagwa.

Yasobanuye ko yahoraga aribwa ku mutwe w'igitsina, utari ugitwikiriwe n'uruhu.

Yagize ati:

"Ibaze uko byagenda ku mboni y'ijisho, ibigohe biramutse biciwe?"

Lesley yagize ati:

"Yarababaraga cyane ku buryo atashoboraga no gukora ibikorwa bisanzwe by'umubiri. " Yakundaga kunyerera ku rubura, ubwo wakwibaza ububabare yari afite."

Umuganga wazobereye mu kubaga Trevor Dorkin, uri mu ishyirahamwe ry'abaganga babaga mu ndwara 'imiyoboro y'inkari British Association of Urological Surgeons, agira inama abarwayi be ko nyuma yo gusiramurwa umutwe w'igitsina cyabo uzagira uburyaryate.

Cyakora, ibi bigenda bigabanuka.

Bwana Dorkin wakoze ikeba inshuro zirenga 1.000 agira ati:

"Mpora mbwira abagabo nti'bizabanza biryaryate ku ikubitiro' kubera ko nta ruhu rurunda umutwe w'igitsina ugifite kandi uzumva bitandukanye."

"Ariko mu nshuro nyinshi, umugabo agerageza kubimenyera, ubwonko burabimenyera."

Alex yananditse ku bibazo byo kutagira umurego w'igitsina, no kuryaryatwa bimeze nk'ubushye, cyane cyane ku nkovu iri ahakaswe uruhu rw'umutwe w'igitsina cye hitwa 'frenulum'.

Frenulum ni izingiro ry'uturemangingo aho uruhu rw'umutwe w'igitsina uhurira no hasi y'igitsina. Abagabo bamwe bamwe babyita "banjo string"".

Bwana Dorkin avuga ko:

"Ni ahantu hamwe hatera ubushake bw'imibonano mpuzabitsina ubwo rero harakomeye."

"Agahu k'igitsina n'umutwe w'igitsina ni ahantu horoshye cyane".

"Ariko na none iyo hakorwa gusiramura, rimwe na rimwe frenulum ntirindwa kandi ntigira uruhare mu buryo rusange bujyanye n'imibonano mpuzabitsina ndetse no kuryoherwa nayo."

Uwufise ububasha kw’isanamu Getty Images
Image caption Hari abantu babona ko gukata agahu gakingira igitsina cy'umugabo ari nko kumuca igice cy'igitsina

Ariko Alex yumvaga ko frenulum ye yari ingenzi.

Yanditse agira ati:

"Kuba nta yihari mbona ntashidikanya ko ari ahantu hakomeye hatera ubushake bw'imibonano mpuzabitsina ku gitsina gabo ndetse no ku mubiri w'umugabo muri rusange."

"Umuntu aguciye rugongo yawe, watangira kumva uko bimera."

Yanditse ku kuntu yaribwaga mu nyama z'umubiri zamuteraga kuribwa no munda.

Lesley ntazi neza niba nyuma yo gusiramurwa Alex yarakoze imibonano mpuzabitsina.

Alex yanditse agira ati:

"Aho nahoranye urugingo rw'igitsina ubu hasigaye agakoni kadakoma, kononwe. "Imibonano mpuzabitsina iri mu kirere."

Image caption Lesley ntiyarazi ko umuhungu we yasiramuwe kugeza apfuye

Kimwe n'antu benshi, Lesley yemera ko mbere y'uko umuhungu we apfa, atari azi byinshi ku ruhu rw'igitsinagabo cyangwa gusiramurwa.

Agira ati:

"Nta kintu nari mbiziho usibye ko numvaga ari ukubagwa bisanzwe."

Rimwe na rimwe uruhu rw'igitsina rufatwa nk'aho ari "igisigara cy'uruhu kitagira akamaro", ariko Dr Dorkin avuga ko rufite akamaro.

"Rutwikira umutwe w'igitsina. Mu rwego rw'icyo rumara, rurinda umutwe w'igitsina. Bitekerezwa ko rushobora kuba rufite umumaro wo kurinda ubwandu."

Benshi mu bagabo basiramuye mu Bwongereza nabo mu idini rya Islam cyangwa Abayahudi kuko gusiramurwa bifatwa n'inkintu gikomeye mu madini yabo.

Ibarura ryakozwe mu 2011 rigaragaza ko abayisiramu ari 4.8/100 by'abaturage mu Bwongereza, naho Abayahudi bangana na 0.5/100.

Abantu badashigiye ibijyanye no gusiramura rimwe na rimwe bashinjwa kwanga idini ry'abayahudi cyangwa irya Islam, ariko Lesley we avuga umuhungu we atariko yari ameze.

"Kuri jye ibi ntaho bihuriye n'idini na gato. Nubaha abantu bose bemera , yewe n'abatemera, nkuko Alex nawe yari ameze" Niko Lesley avuga

Muri Canada, aho Alex yari yarimukiye, 32/100 by'abagabo barasiramuye.

Alex yumvaga ko gusiramurwa kw'abagabo byagizwe ibisanzwe cyane ku buryo abantu benshi nta mpungenge batabifite ikibazo, mu gihe gusiramura abagore byiswe gukatwa ibihimba by'igitsina ndetse ubu bikaba binahanwa n'amategeko mu bihugu byinshi.

Image caption Alex ni we wari imfura ya Lesley mu bahungu be batatu

Yumvaga ko gusiramura abagabo nabyo byagombye gufatwa nko kubagegena igitsina, ibitekerezo asangiye n'uruhande rw'abarwanya gusiramurwa bagenda biyongera.

Alex yanditse ati:" Iyo nza kuba umugore ( mu bihugu by'Uburayi na Amerika) ibi ntibyari kuba byemewe n'amategeko, byari kuba ari icyaha kandi n'abaganga ntibari no kuzapfa babikoze".

" Sinemera ko hari igitsina kigomba gukurengerwa, abandi nti bibe uko, ariko ndemeza cyane ko uburinganire bw'ibitsina bwagombye kgukurikizwa kuri bose.

Impirimbanyi ziharanira kugumana ibihimba byo gitsina byose ku zivuga ko gusiramura uruhinja cg umwana bidakwiriye, yaba umuhungu cg umukobwa kuko abo bana badashobora kubyiyemerera ubwabo, ndetse izo mpiribanyi zifata gusiramurwa nk'ikibazo cy'uburenganzira bwa muntu.

Uwufise ububasha kw’isanamu Getty Images
Image caption Impirimbanyi z'uburenganzira bwa muntu zivuga ko gukeba umwana akiri uruhinja bigomba guhagarara kubera ko adashobora kubifataho icyemezo bwite

Kuba yaramaze imyaka 21 igitsina cye ari cyose, Alex yumvaga ko abagabo basiramuwe bakiri impinja cyangwa abana bato batazigera basobanukirwa neza ibyo bambuwe. We yumvaga ko yambuwe 75/100 byo gukora kw'igitsina cye.

Cyakora, amateka ku bijyanye n'abagabo basiramuwe ari bakuru aratandukanye cyane.

Mu byukuri bamwe mu bagabo bahitamo gukora imibonano mpuzabitsina baramaze kwisiramuza kuko baba batakibabara ku gatwe k'igitsina.

Abandi bavuga ko batakaza ibyiyumvo cyane ku gitsina cyabo ndetse ngo ntibabashe kunenezwa mu gihe cy'imibonano.

Hari urundi ruhande ruvuga ko ibyiyumvo bigabanuka gato ariko ko ntagihinduka mu kunezerwa mu gihe bakora imibonano.

Hari n'abandi bishimira cyane icyemezo bafashe cyo kwisiramuza.

Yewe hari n'urundi ruhande nka Alex bicuza cyane impamvu babikoze.

Uwufise ububasha kw’isanamu Lesley Roberts
Image caption Alex yagiye kureba ibifi binini bya Whales ari kumwe na nyina ku isabukuru ye y'amavuko y'imyaka 21

Nyuma yo gusiramurwa, Alex yasabye ubufasha bw'abaganga barimo n'abavura indwara zo mu mitekerereze n'imyifatire, ariko ntiyigeze abwira ikibazo cye umuryango cyangwa inshuti ze.

" Twari kumwe muri iyo myaka ibiri, ndetse ndatekereza ko naba mbeshye mvuze ko ntigeze ntekereza ko hari ikitagenda. Niko Lesley atangaza.

"Naramubazaga nti ese hari ikintu kikubangamiye? Uri amahoro? Nawe akambwira ko ameze neza."

Lesley, wigeze kuba umwarimu, ubu yizera kujya ajya mu mashuri akaganiriza abana b'abahungu abasaba kuvuga ibibazo byabo, nubwo byaba kubabwira amateka y'umuhungu wanjye.

Image caption Muganga Trevor Dorkin, aburira abantu mbere yo kubakeba

Lesley ati: Ndatekereza ko twese tuzi ko abagabo badakunze kuvuga ibibazo byabo nkuko abakobwa babikora, ariko ndibaza ko kwisiramuza ari ibintu bidakunze kuganirwaho.

"Alex yari umuntu ucecetse. Ntabwo yari kuzigera avuga ko agahu gatwiriye hejuru ku gitsina cye kamubabaza. Kandi koko ntiyigeze abikora. Nanjye sinigeze mbimenya"

Uwufise ububasha kw’isanamu Lesley Roberts
Image caption Akiri umwana yari "mwiza, yiyoroshya kandi akunda murumuna we Thomas"

Nyuma y'icyumweru kimwe gusa Alex apfuye, inshuti ya Lesley yamuhishuriye uburyo nawe yasiramuwe.

"Yarambwiye ko mu bisanzwe atari kubivuga, ko ariko mu myaka 10 ishize yisiramuje akuze, kandi ko yababaraga buri munsi. Bigaragara nkaho ari ibintu biriho cyane kuruta uko umuntu abitekereza."

Uwufise ububasha kw’isanamu Lesley Roberts
Image caption Alex yasabye nyina gusangiza inkuru ye namara gupfa

Lesley usanzwe udakunda gusangira iby'ubuzima bwe bwite kimwe n'umuhungu we Alex, yemeye kuvuga ibyabaye ku mwana we kubera ko cyari icyifuzo cye.

Agira ati:

"Niba aya makuru hari umuntu yagirira akamaro azaba koze akamaro kayo."

"Mu ibaruwa ye, Alex yavuze ko "duhagaze ku ntugu z'abatubanjirije."

"Iki ni cyo kintu cya nyuma ndi gukorera umuhungu wanjye"

Ku makuru y'uburyo wafashwa kugirwa inama jya kuri BBC Action Line.