A woman is to visit her jailed husband to find out why he tried to blow her up outside their Kent home.
Victoria Fabian, of Vigo near Gravesend, was seriously injured last year by a grenade planted in her car.
Her soldier husband Nicholas was found guilty of attempted murder in February and is serving a life sentence with a minimum term of 16 years.
Mrs Fabian, who was pregnant at the time of the attack, said she still had unanswered questions.
She said she received a letter from her husband recently, but had not spoken to him since his arrest.
"Whether I'll get the answers, I don't know," she said.
"I do want to see him. People say I'm mad, but I haven't had that closure. Normally, you'd have an argument, you'd have that discussion. I haven't had that."
Mrs Fabian and Charlie, her eight-year-old son from a previous marriage, were in the car at the time of the blast in March 2010.
They were in a borrowed car which was being returned. Her husband had got in the family's Vauxhall Zafira with their own son Harry, then aged three.
After the explosion, Charlie managed to escape but his mother was too badly hurt to move.
Her unborn son Freddie was delivered safely three months later.
Mrs Fabian found out her husband had been arrested when her mother and sister visited her in hospital after the attack.
Before then, she had thought the explosion was terror-related and linked to her husband's imminent deployment to Afghanistan.
She said: "My world fell apart. It was just devastating.
"To me, we were happy, we were having another baby. Next thing I know, I'm a single parent, I can't move, and I'm six months pregnant."
'Eat me up'
Mrs Fabian, a nurse, told BBC Radio Kent she wanted to ask her husband why he tried to kill her and why he let Charlie get in the car.
She said: "He saw Charlie as his son and I find it extremely hard that he let us both get in the car but especially Charlie."
She added: "I'm not angry with him any more. Anger's not productive.
"It's just going to eat me up, so I'm not angry at him and I don't hate him - but there's part of me that doesn't understand why he let Charlie get in the car."
During the Maidstone Crown Court trial, her suspicions that her husband had been having an affair were also confirmed.
Mrs Fabian said she had found it easy to "put a smile on and plod on", but Charlie, who was now 10, was having a lot of problems for which he was receiving help.
She said it had broken her heart to see the effect on her "bubbly boy" and to see his whole personality change.
She said their two sons also wanted to visit their father in jail, but that would not be an option, although written contact was being considered.
Mrs Fabian said her husband had asked to see her, and she had to tell the prison she was happy to have contact with him before he could send a visiting order.