Police in Greater Manchester are warning Christmas revellers they could end up in a "hotel" for offenders if they drink too much.
The force is promoting a spoof website advertising services at the Drunken Disorderly Inn.
Guests can look forward to wipe-clean mattresses, stark decor, extra thick walls and state-of-the-art CCTV.
Logging on to the website, visitors can see videos, photographs and details on the reality of being locked-up.
It is part of the force's attempts to raise awareness of the consequences of alcohol-fuelled violence in the region's towns and cities.
Guests can look forward to being transported in "blue-light limousines" and will have their possessions put in the safe to keep them away from the "burglars, robbers and thieves that frequent our premises", the website promises.
Assistant Chief Constable (ACC) Garry Shewan said: "For thousands of people in our county a few drinks out in the local bar or club are an integral part of celebrating Christmas and the New Year.
"The vast majority of people do this responsibly, ensuring they and others have a good time and go home safe.
"Excessive drinking can however lead to a selfish binge-drinking minority getting involved in drunken violence and anti-social behaviour such as swearing, shouting and criminal damage.
"They can be assured that we will be watching out for them and will have no hesitation in putting them up for the night."
He added that although the website is tongue-in-cheek, it does contain valuable information.