The police officer blinded by Raoul Moat has said that he still sees the gunman's face at night.
Pc David Rathband, was shot as he sat in his patrol car in July, and plans to return to Northumbria Police to finish the shift he started that day.
He said he still thinks of Moat, who shot himself in Rothbury after killing his ex-partner's new boyfriend.
"It's a face that shows him in death, not in life, which is horrific," he said.
The officer said soon after the shooting that he "bore no malice" towards Moat, but three months on, he is still in his mind.
Pc Rathband said: "I go to bed and sometimes I look to my left and his face is lying next to me on the pillow.
"But then, it is in death, so I'm not going to spend my life thinking negative thoughts about him."
Moat, who also shot and injured his former girlfriend, shot himself after a six-hour stand-off with police.
While on the run, he shot Pc Rathband in the face as he sat in his patrol car in East Denton, near Newcastle, early on 4 July.
The father-of-two has now said he wants to return and finish that shift.
"I'm determined I will go back and I will wear my uniform with as much pride as I used to," he said.
"I want to book off duty, I didn't finish the shift.
"When you go on duty you book on, and I didn't book off.
"I need to finish what I started, mentally, for me."