A man accused of murdering a postwoman in the Scottish Borders has no memory of the incident, a court has been told.
Nicholas Rogers, 27, phoned his brother and said he could not remember going to the house where the killing took place.
He said he could only recall being in a Tesco car park later where someone "said something about murder".
He denies murdering Alexandra Stuart, 22, in Peebles but admits killing her, claiming he was suffering from an "abnormality of the mind" at the time.
The High Court in Glasgow heard a recording of the call Mr Rogers made to his brother James and sister Sophie after being remanded for the alleged murder in August last year.
'Shouting all around'
In it he described going to Edinburgh to distract himself from "feeling depressed and suicidal".
He also talked about going for dinner and when he returned to his home he had all his pills out.
However, he said he did not remember going to the house where the alleged murder took place.
Mr Rogers added that the next thing he knew he was in a Tesco car park and there was "shouting all around".
He said there was a man in a suit who said "something about murder".
Mr Rogers told his brother: "I don't want anyone to suffer any more than they already have."
He also said he hoped they would put him in a hospital.
Speaking about Ms Stuart he said: "A girl has lost her life - family and friends have lost a loved one."
Later in the same phone call when speaking to his sister Sophie, Mr Rogers was heard crying. He said: "I didn't know I was that unwell in the lead up to it."
Before the call ended he said: "I just hope the system does what's right."
The trial before judge Lord Summers continues.