Four reasons why couples go fight about money

fingers dey fight about money Image copyright Getty Images
Image example Money fight-fight dey spoil home

You don quarrel with your partner on top money mata?

We no like to dey tok about money issue, e no dey end well sometimes, and some pipo no dey like tok am at all, But e dey important.

In fact research show say, na money mata dey cause wahala pass for inside relationships.

And no be only for couples o, even for friends and family members, e fit cause problem.

But wetin dey cause wahala pass for money mata?

You sabi spend or na you save pass?

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When pipo dey fight on top money, e fit be say dem no dey handle money di same way.

Di way we go dey handle money mata, or wetin money go mean to you, dey start wen pikin dey small by how di house dey and wetin our experiences be.

Like if you bin dey struggle for money wen you be pikin, you go fit like to spend money anyhow wen you grow.

And di way we dey treat money no be like e be money again. E be freedom, dey give security, na way to show love, and dey give feeling of powe.

Na why if you get money wahala, e fit cause serious problem, because di pesin wey you get di wahala with no dey tink like you.

Like for instance, you don marry and big money wey don dey expect don land, and your partner dey already book holiday while you dey tink how to invest am, that kain tin.

For richer or poorer

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For relationship one of di hardest tins, na to turn "your money" and "my money" to "our money". Dat tin fit pain!

To say dis na how we go spend di money for house fit vex some pipo.

Like weda you go share bills equally or wetin you go do if una born pikin or one of una no dey make money again.

Anoda tin wey dey kill moral on top money mata for relationship na if your partner hold pass you, e dey pain if you gats depend on pesin for everitin.

Distrust

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Image example You trust your partner with money?

James wey be BBC radio listener bin no believe di kain gbese wey im wife carri from credit card company so e say e be like im wife bin dey cheat on am with di card.

Wen you just start relationship, una go trust each oda well say dis pesin care for me well. But wen una way no dey pure with money or una no dey treat money di same e fit spoil di trust.

Wetin you go want do na to tok about wetin di money mean to una as pipo and how una go handle spending.

How you dey take borrow money?

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Wen pesin ask you for money, wetin you dey do?

Weda na friend wey dey broke, or pesin wey dey find extra money to buy motor or antin sef.

You fit wan borrow dem, on top di kain relationship una get, but wetin go happun if di pesin take am as 'gift'?

Tok am well wen you dey borrow pesin say, "dis na borrow, no be dash o!" and also arrange wen di pesin go pay you.

Six tips so you no go fight on top money, by financial therapist Jean Theurer
FIND DI RIGHT TIME TO TOK ABOUT MONEY No just vex di pesin wey you wan tok money. Look for good time wey you go tok.
NO DOWNGRADE YOUR PARTNER No be say you go come fall your own hand, but no make your partner feel bad.
MAKE TIME TO TOK BUDGET MATA You go need to dey di same page on top budget mata for house. So take time to discuss am weda na weekly or monthly. So you go know weda you dey change plan or not.
DEY HONEST If you want make your partner understand you, make you dey honest.
LISTEN Listen to yourself so una go understand each oda.
GET RESPECT If you respect each oda, you go fit tok about money without fear of fight.

Tips so your money go last:

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  • No dey run afta sales because na way to waste money be dat.
  • Avoid temptation: no dey read message wey go give you sweet deals wey you no need,
  • Tear eye for food budget: buy only wetin you go chop so waste no go dey.
  • Pay with cash because dey pain pass to use card pay for wetin you buy.
  • Buy second hand. E dey cheaper and e dey good for di environment
  • Sell wetin you no dey use again. Everitin dey come back in style and also, good for environment..


Dis tori dey come from BBC Radio 4 programme Money Clinic.


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