Alan Pardew: Newcastle United boss feared sack after headbutt
Newcastle manager Alan Pardew says he feared for his job after headbutting Hull's David Meyler.
Pardew was handed a seven-game ban by the Football Association for his clash with the Irish midfielder.
He was also fined £100,000 by his club but had worried owner Mike Ashley would sack him over the incident.
"When you are in the public eye, like I am, and an incident like that happens, you have to fear for your future," said Pardew.
"Mike acted swiftly and I accepted that, and we go forward. I have to say that in this interim period since the incident, the backing I have had from the club in particular has been a really big help to me because obviously, it's been difficult."
The Magpies boss has been involved in other touchline confrontations and has discussed his behaviour with the League Managers' Association.
He said: "I've spoken to the LMA about some management consultant issues that I could look at that might help."
Pardew confronted the Republic of Ireland international in the 72nd minute of his side's 4-1 win on 1 March after the pair exchanged words on the touchline.
An independent FA commission banned the 52-year-old from the stadium for the first three matches and imposed a touchline ban for the remaining four.
The ban sets two Premier League records - the longest suspension for a manager, and the first stadium ban.
The FA also fined him £60,000 and warned him as to his future conduct.
"It was an independent panel and it was a decision that I was going to accept," Pardew said.
"I had no intention to appeal the decision whatever it was, and therefore was going to accept what they decided to do."
Pardew also revealed that he had written to Hull manager Steve Bruce to apologise for his actions.
"I sent a letter to Steve to say there was no animosity on my side towards David, and to say sorry basically for the incident that happened. I deeply regret it," he said.
Newcastle assistant boss John Carver will take charge of the team in Pardew's absence, starting with the Premier League match against Fulham at Craven Cottage on Saturday.