Bournemouth's Harry Arter says he will not be devastated if he misses out on a place in the Republic of Ireland squad for Euro 2016.
Arter, 26, and his fiancee Rachel were left grieving last December when their daughter Renee was still-born.
The midfielder admits the tragedy means he has a changed perspective.
"Before that, this would have been the be all and end all for me. If I didn't get in the squad, I would probably have been devastated," says Arter.
Arter waiting for Martin O'Neill's Irish selection
Over the next few days, Arter will discover whether or not Republic boss Martin O'Neill has included him in his 23-man squad for France.
If O'Neill leaves Arter out, the Bournemouth midfielder will be "disappointed" but it will be in context.
"I certainly know what devastation means now, it has a completely different meaning to me. If I did miss out, it would be a disappointment, certainly not devastation.
"I have tried to stay professional throughout. Luckily for me, I am passionate about football and I have had something to focus my mind on after what happened.
"Some people, unfortunately it takes over their life."
Should Arter make the plane, he says he will climb on board with his daughter firmly in his mind.
"I want to try to do her proud, I want to try to make my family proud. It's still pretty raw in the sense that it's only been just over five months.
"In my eyes and my family's eyes, she was with us for nine months. I am proud to say she was my daughter and I want to try to do her proud if she is watching."
Professionally, a trip to the Euros would cap a remarkable turn-around for a man who dropped down into the non-league ranks after being released by Charlton as a teenager.
The London native rebuilt his career at Woking before being snapped up by the Cherries, where he played a key role in their promotion to the Premier League during the 2014-15 campaign.
Injuries have hampered him this season but he still has played his part in keeping Bournemouth in the top flight.
Arter is hoping to earn his second Irish cap in Friday's game against the Netherlands in Dublin after making his debut against England a year ago.
"Regardless of the journey, to go to the Euros would be a dream come true for any player who has never experienced it. The journey is just part of my story, really."