That's me. So I'd better go and do it now. Thanks for joining us today. Merry Christmas. Unless you support Rayo Vallecano.
- Bale scores four before being replaced
- Five goals and two reds in first 30 minutes
- Rayo reduced to nine men
- Real five points off Barca & Atletico at start
- Rayo Vallecano in relegation zone
They got their 10th just in time. That's the first double figures I've seen in a game since Levadia Tallinn hammered FC Ajax Lasnamae 11-0 in the Estonian Meistriliiga.
The scoreline on TV isn't equipped to handle 10. It's tiny next to a big 2 for Rayo Vallecano.
- Copyright: AP
Mateo Kovacic lays the ball off and it drops to Karim Benzema 16 yards out - he makes no mistake and has his hat-trick.
We have double figures!
Cristiano Ronaldo is waiting in the box to head home for a hat-trick and number 10 but Lucas Vazquez's cross is straight over him.
Almost fantasy football here as Mateo Kovacic tries a flying scissor-kick 20 yards from goal but it flies over the bar.
Is this 10? Karim Benzema is played in by Cristiano Ronaldo, but he takes too long on the ball and Quini slides it out for a corner.
- Copyright: Reuters
We're so close to double figures I can taste it. And it tastes delicious. Luka Modric finds Karim Benzema, who is unmarked around the penalty spot, the Frenchman takes a touch and strokes it past Yoel.
Lucas Vazquez has a chance for Real Madrid but keeper Yoel - who has actually had a pretty good game - palms it wide.
Cristiano Ronaldo is in again for Real Madrid but drags his shot across goal - Real's 22nd shot of the game.
Are they going to get 10? There's 12 minutes left to score twice.
This referee doesn't want to add to Rayo's woes here. Lucas Vazquez is barged off the ball but no penalty given. I reckon they would have had two penalties in the second half in a normal game.
Cristiano Ronaldo, still chasing a hat-trick, lashes a shot over.
This is the most despicable substitution I've ever seen in the history of football. Gareth Bale - chasing his fifth goal of the game - comes off for full-back Alvaro Arbeloa.
I'm genuinely fuming.
Gareth Bale chases onto a ball looking for his fifth of the game but keeper Yoel rushes out to clear the danger.
It probably won't come as a surprise to learn that's the first time Gareth Bale has scored four goals in a league game.
Danilo is the first Real Madrid player to go into the book - for wiping out Bebe. He obviously spotted the threat there.