There's a brief report already up on the website. Here it is. I'm off to flesh it out a bit. Thanks for your company - see you soon.
- Stoke: Haugaard; Bardsley, Cameron, Wollscheid, Pieters; Whelan, Imbula; Afellay, Bojan, Arnautovic; Joselu.
- Swansea: Fabianski; Rangel, Fernandez, Williams, Naughton; Cork, Fer, Britton; Sigurdsson; Routledge, Gomis.
- Jakob Haugaard makes his Premier League debut for Stoke; Jack Butland injured.
That is indeed that.
Joselu sees the opportunity of a dramatic winner as we enter the fag end of the three minutes of added time. The Stoke striker pounces on Jack Cork's weak clearance, but the shot from outside the area is gathered easily by keeper Lukasz Fabianski. That might just be that.
Jefferson Montero is chasing a winner as we head into stoppage time. He races at goal from the left, there are men in the centre... and he dribbles a shot harmlessly wide of the near post. I can feel the thousand-yard stares of his team-mates from here.
The Stoke fans are stunned by what they have seen over the last quarter-of-an-hour. Marko Arnautovic tries to rescue things with a free-kick, but the ball brushes the outside of the netting. It's been a very odd game, this. Very entertaining, but thoroughly odd.
And how the substitutions have worked for Francesco Guidolin. It is not Montero who gets the equaliser, though, but Alberto Paloschi, the other sub. He gathers the ball just outside the penalty area, and beats Jakob Haugaard at the near post with the help of a deflection. Who's your money on now?Copyright: Getty Images
Jefferson Montero has made a huge difference since coming on. Stoke look terrified every time the winger collects the ball on the left. He drifts the ball just too far for Alberto Paloschi to reach on this occasion, but there may well be more chances.
Stoke manager Mark Hughes, looking to give his side a more solid look, take off the artful Bojan Krkic and send on Mame Biram Diouf.
Another change by Francesco Guidolin: a straight swap this time. Bafetimbi Gomis is off and fellow striker Alberto Paloschi is on. If Swansea save this, Guidolin will deserve credit for the changes he has made in the second half.
He's a classy player is Gylfi Sigurdsson, and he has given Stoke a few jitters. Wayne Routledge gets away down the right, and his low ball across finds the Iceland international on the edge of the penalty area. The shot on the turn completely bamboozles Jakob Haugaard. There may or may not have been a slight deflection, but not enough to confuse the goalkeeper that much. Haugaard is left flat-footed, and a little embarrassed.Copyright: Getty Images
We could have had a third Stoke goal. Marko Arnautovic gets down the left and crosses low for Joselu - who is not quite sharp enough to anticipate it, and just cannot get there.
Francesco Guidolin has to do something to try to salvage a match that is getting away at great speed. The Swansea coach's response is to replace holding midfielder Leon Britton with winger Jefferson Montero. The Ecuador international has happy memories of facing Stoke - he scored his first Swansea goal against them last May. Can he make a difference now?
Former Leicester and Aston Villa forward on Final ScoreCopyright: PA
"If Stoke keep things very, very quiet and don't let anybody know what they are doing and what they are achieving then they have a great chance of getting into Europe.
"Mark Hughes is pulling up trees and doing great with that squad."
And now Stoke are showing off a little. Marko Arnautovic cuts in from the left, and sets up Giannelli Imbula on the edge of the penalty area. A low shot is steered goalwards. Lukasz Fabianski gathers comfortably, but the Stoke fans applaud warmly.
Bojan Krkic gathers the ball 40 yards from goal, and fancies a run. And so off he goes, with Swansea unable to prevent his progress. When he reaches the edge of the penalty area, he strokes a left-foot shot towards the far corner. Keeper Lukasz Fabianski should save it, really - he gets a strong hand to the ball. But it will look nice on Match of the Day tonight.Copyright: Getty ImagesCopyright: Getty Images
Meanwhile, Bafetimbi Gomis is offside. Which would have been a great title for a Samuel Beckett play, I feel.Copyright: Getty Images
It's as you were at the start of the second half, with no changes by either side. There's an early contretemps as Stoke centre-back Philipp Wollscheid, up for a corner, accidentally boots Swansea defender Federico Fernandez in the face. Fernandez has the anguished face of a man who might write a strongly-worded letter to the local paper about the matter. I don't think he will, though.
As the second half gets under way, some people are questioning whether we really did just get Little Mix to go through the half-time stats. All I'd say is: Look at the picture. It's them.
- Copyright: Reuters
As Little Mix blare out over Stoke's public address system, let's get them to go through the half-time stats with us.
"Well, Mike, both teams have had six shots on goal (two on target for Stoke, one for Swansea), and the possession has been pretty even - 50.6% for the home side, 49.4% for the visitors. There's a big difference in the foul count, though - Swansea have conceded nine, Stoke three. And while Mark Hughes' side have won 27 duels, Francesco Guidolin's team have come out on top in just 15."
Little Mix with the half-time stats, there, with a little help from Opta. Thanks, Little Mix!
Stoke are very good value for their half-time lead.
Jakob Haugaard has not had much to do in Stoke's goal so far, and has not looked entirely convincing when he has been called into action. But the Premier League debutant makes a decent stop here, diving to hold Jack Cork's shot from the edge of the penalty area following Bafetimbi Gomis' tee-up.Copyright: Getty Images